Welcome to my blog. Writing a blog is an idea I’ve thrown around for a while and I’m excited to be getting started (almost as excited as I am to be sitting alone at my desk, with a cup of tea, on a Saturday). It’s the little things. My name is Hannah, I’m married to Ben and we have 3 children. The eldest two are my daughters from a previous relationship. I’ll refer to them as P and V. P is 11 and V is 8. And then we have E together. E is 21 months old. I’ll leave it there for introductions as all the other important bits I’ll slot in as and when.

I’m going to jump straight in and say that the impetus for beginning blog-writing comes from my wish to document our attempt to help P with her eating disorder. She has, we believe – yet to be confirmed by the powers that be – anorexia and it is worth mentioning that she also has ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).

CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) has offered us Family Therapy (FT) to help support P to recover from her eating disorder (ED from now on). During my appointment with the Family Therapist, I was asked how I thought FT could help us and, to be honest, I could have listed a few ways in which we would benefit from it – and, as you read my blog posts, you’ll begin to appreciate what I mean by this. However, he and I both agreed that the primary concern at the moment is P’s ED because, quite frankly, not eating properly can kill you. I had researched anorexia before this appointment and learned that FT is considered the most effective approach to treating EDs and so I was pleased and, actually, pleasantly surprised (again, as you read my blog posts you’ll appreciate my surprise) that this is what CAMHS is offering us. The therapy starts on the 22^nd March. It’ll be Ben, my mum and me as it is the three of us who are in the best positions to support P. My mum is very involved in P’s life, to the extent that, for the past year, P has slept at my parents’ house. Reasons behind this will become clear in future posts – or maybe they won’t, we’re not 100% clear of the reasons ourselves.

A side note – the Family Therapy approach to treating EDs is also known as the Maudsley Model (developed in the Maudsley Hospital – a prominent psychiatric institution based in London). CAMHS recommended I read ‘Skills-based Caring for a Loved One with an Eating Disorder’ by Treasure, Smith and Crane, which details the techniques and strategies intrinsic to this approach. I’ve not read it yet but, for anyone with a child in a similar position, I’m sure this book will be useful. The other book that was recommended to me, by CAMHS and another parent, is ‘Anorexia and Other Eating Disorders’ by Eva Musby. This one hasn’t arrived in the post yet. I have some long nights of reading ahead of me.

So, from this blog, you can expect to read about my experiences as we receive FT and try to implement the techniques and strategies at home. The type of thinking and behaviour inherent in anorexia is characteristically very similar to ASD and can be described as very rigid, rule-based and obsessive. So, you can imagine when you have a child with ASD (so, you can also throw other characteristics into the mix, such as incredibly high anxiety, extreme resistance, ‘black and white’ perspectives and a host of difficulties with social understanding and communication) and anorexia, the barriers to recovery can be expected to be tremendously robust. I was warned: it will be very difficult and there will be distress (on all parts, I’m sure but I think he was referring to P). When we deal with P’s distress, we’re often faced with things such as self-harm, suicide ideation, depressive mood, violent behaviour and more, so it’s distress with a capital ‘d’. Understandably, I’m very apprehensive about embarking on all this but there isn’t a choice. Having said that, I’m enormously grateful for the fact that I’m not the only adult to help P and we have a very supportive family network – I’m confident that the three of us attending the FT, as well as others in the family, will work together towards the best possible outcome for P.

Finally for now, in addition to detailing the ED-related journey, I plan to talk about lots of other aspects of parenting P, including the incessant fighting for support from a variety of different organisations. Writing this blog will be therapeutic for me but, ideally, its usefulness will extend to anyone who reads it, in terms of reducing feelings of isolation among parents of children with similar additional needs (I’ve realised: isolation is a big thing), signposting to potential sources of help/information and sharing the benefits of my experience (and I welcome the benefits of others’ experiences, too). Topics I intend to write about include: obtaining an EHCP (Education and Health Care Plan), working with schools and issues surrounding school attendance, engaging the help of CAMHS, financial benefits that might be able to help (Disability Living Allowance, Carers Allowance), self-harm, Social Care, the sense of isolation – from family and friends, problems with sleeping, separation anxiety, children who seek to control, social anxiety, different types of available advice and support (free and not-so-free) and more, I’m sure.

I’m grateful that you’ve taken the time to read my first post and I hope you’re interested to find out more.